Briefly, here's my
background. Born and raised in Massachusetts, I spent nearly my entire
life there save for a short stint in, of all places, Tucson, Arizona.
This occurred during my relatively brief marriage which ended in a childless
divorce shortly after my return to Massachusetts.
My parents were a
typical working class family in the 50's with my father working at various
jobs in the home heating oil industry and my mother being primarily a homemaker.
I had no siblings. My mother suffered most of her adult life from severe
depression which had a profound effect on me as u will later come to see.
I was educated in
the public school system in my hometown of 50,000 people in extreme Western
Massachusetts.
I was just an average student, doing much better at subjects such as English
and history than the more technical stuff like math and science.
I attended a two year community college in my hometown
and did rather well
there probably due to the reduced pressure and freedom that college offered.
A physical
ailment kept me
from entering the armed forces so I am not a veteran. After a couple of
years of work at a
local factory to
pay for my education I returned to a nearby 4 year college earning a BS
degree in business
administration which
I really never utilized in my work life.
The reasons for this
are many and varied but I can pinpoint it fairly well to my rebellious
nature and free spirit, two traits which have alternately been a blessing
and a curse thru out my life. I got married and went to work at the same
local factory I had previously been employed by and had a sudden urge to
pick up and move to Tucson, Arizona to escape the harsh winters that Massachusetts
bestowed upon its residents with great regularity. However, my future
ex wife was not pleased there due to homesickness and her habit of wanting
to go in an entirely different direction than her spouse.
Upon my return to
Massachusetts I obtained employment in a paper mill (and a divorce from
my wife) where I worked formerly 23 years. During that period of time,
partly from genetics (both my grandfathers were alcoholics) and partly
due to the nature of paper mill life (6 day weeks, 12 hour days, the constant
changing of shifts, working every weekend with one weekday off, ad infinitum)
I developed a real affection for alcohol. Never getting re-married
and wishing to remain childless allowed me to indulge with fervor and success
till I found myself in a seemingly endless stream of detoxes and rehabs.
During this period
of my life I also developed a severe depression resulting in several suicide
attempts and resultant stays in mental institutions. The deaths of both
my parents during this period only exacerbated my problems. I quickly
spiraled further downward and lost both my job and my home in rapid succession.
With what little money I had left I decided to move back to Tucson where
the winters are gentle and the people are more friendly than the citizens
of Massachusetts. I obtained an apartment and quickly lost it due to my
inability to find employment at a living wage and my recurring alcohol
usage.
So here I am - living
on the streets of Tucson, with no family to speak of (save one cousin back
in
Massachusetts),
no money, but, oddly enough, maintaining sobriety for the last six months.
This is partly due to a lack of funds but also due to the realization (finally)
that alcohol has brought me to this juncture and enough is enough!!!!
I have been extremely lucky in forming some very solid relationships with
other homeless people who have taught me so much I can never properly thank
them!
In any event, for
better or worse, this is my present state of affairs. This journal
is just my way of keeping track of things that are happening in my life
at the present time and I will endeavor to keep it as current as time permits.
I hope u like it.
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